Sunday, 21 February 2016

What I've learned about love and relationships

With Doomsday (Valentines) out of the way it’s the perfect time to reflect on past relationships and love, the good and the ugly.

Admittedly and rather shamelessly, throughout secondary school I perhaps did focus more on my relationships than my education. It started of as an 11-year-old who simply wanted to put a boys name in her MSN message to look sassy, of course next to a jumping up and down heart emoji. I even asked out a boy who had a cool sounding name just for the purpose of my MSN, then dumped him the next day by the bicycle shed. The reason being, he put my name in his MSN name but didn’t put a cute enough emoji next to ‘Soph’. Utterly tragic I know.

I met my first boyfriend on MSN in year 8, after my friends decided to add some boys into the chat because clearly I wasn’t entertaining enough. I know all the 90’s kids reading this will understand how easy it was to date on MSN, if only Tinder was on that level… We dated for three years after that, right up till the start of year 11.

We had a mutual break-up because we had grown apart. We were no longer the 12-year-olds giggling on MSN to cats making weird noises on YouTube. I learnt a lot from that relationship, the most important thing being that there are some real gentlemen out there and not every man will treat you badly.

I dated my second boyfriend throughout sixth-form for just less than 2 years. We went on first holidays together, had a lot in common and a lot of memories. I suppose looking back I saw it as a relationship that could surely never end, someone that I did see as being in my life forever. He made me more confident and inspired me to really make a go for it with my blog and career.

When we broke up it was the first time and the only time I have experienced true heart break. It’s odd you feel so angry and hurt at first, you feel like you will feel like that forever. Nine months later I completely respect why he ended it. He grew apart and wanted different things, you can’t argue with that.

I’ve spent the last nine months focusing on my career, while lapping up the last year I have of being classed as a teenager. Sure, I have gone on dates and even left one smiling at how well it went. I felt myself starting to like him, only to realise two days after that a relationship was the last thing on my mind and I needed time to be by myself. The last few months I have really realised why my relationships may have broken down because of myself and the things I need to improve on, to be fully able to make someone else happy.

I’m incredibly lucky to of had the relationships that I have had so far in my life. Both taught me and showed me that although not all relationships work out, sometimes breaking up isn’t the end of the world and it is just simply because you have grown apart. Both also proved to me that despite all we hear in the media, there are men and boys out there that are not assholes.

I’d love to hear about your experiences of love in the comments or you can email me at for a chat! What other types of sex and relationship blog posts would you like to see on Vavaviolet?


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