Saturday, 21 May 2016

How to get over a break up | The Soph way

Heartbreak is certainly an experience. Once you’re done being dramatic hitting up your what’s app group chat acting like you’re dying, here’s what to do (I advise you not to take my advice, actually, scrap that, take it)

My personal and favourite tip is you dedicate ONE day to eating your feelings. Dedicating that day to mopping around, eating as much Ben and Jerry’s as you can, crying to all of your friends, your mum, dog, so that you can get it out of your system without feeling guilty. You chew on that soggy popcorn covered in your tears, as you watch the Notebook. Don’t feel bad, heartbreak is extremely hard and you will feel like your world has come crumbling down. Because let's face it you’re grieving, you have lost someone who you loved and without getting cliché it is going to hurt. 

It is okay to be a little selfish and feel like you’re so hard done by, that your life is over and that panic of ‘Who am I going to cuddle and annoy 24/7??’ I brought a cuddle pillow and ladies, it was the best damn £15 I have ever spent.

You need time to hurt because you can’t escape that. I wish I could write and tell all my younger readers especially, that heartbreak is a walk in the park. But I’m sorry, the truth is, it is destroying. I felt pathetic for being upset, I was so hard on myself and literally forced myself to be okay. I’m someone who makes a joke out of everything and genuinely am an extremely happy, bubbly character. So when I first felt these emotions it shocked me, I had no idea I could cry that much. I even googled to see if I needed to use eye drops because I’d lost so much water (I know, I’m an idiot).

After your fun packed day of self-loathing, this is what you’re going to do. Set your alarm a little earlier than normal, you are doing your makeup and hair to perfection today. Pack some tissues in your bag (crying isn’t forbidden yet), avoid songs about love, basically don’t listen to music because it is just all about love and sex. Pick out an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfy and then let me know as I haven’t found an outfit that does both yet. You are leaving the house today, I know day two, I’m a hard cow.

Do something that day that makes you happy, I personally love going to work and my job so I use that as a way to focus on something else but I also like to see my friends. I spend 99% of my time being an idiot, so I spent a lot of time with my friends acting like an utter clown. I’m very lucky to have incredibly supportive friends that I know will always be there for me. So when I sent out the ‘I’ve been dumped’ text, they came running!

A week has gone by now and no doubt you have sent him/her 5,002 texts and are most likely blocked. Delete his number and unfollow them on social media. You need time apart and more importantly, you need to heal. Seeing that they’re at a party shagging some rebound is not going to do you any favours.

That leads me on to my next point, SEX. Yes, bet that got your attention.

We’re all adults here and if you’re under 18, tell your parents I’m sorry in advance. But being real, we have needs. I personally don’t recommend getting underneath someone immediately, there is nothing worse than feeling frustrated and disgusted in yourself. Take your time, don’t force yourself by thinking ‘if I have sex with someone else I’ll be over him’. I’ll save you your time - it doesn’t work like that. Believe me, I tried. Find someone who will give you cuddles, not chlamydia.

People get judged too harshly on their ‘sex life’s’, so do what makes you happy even if that is having a rebound (I won’t judge) and wear a JLS condom during the process, you know for the banter and to be safe.

I got over my last breakup mainly by accepting it. I realised that was that the plug had been pulled and I needed to carry on living. I saw no point in beating myself up over it and frankly, my nose goes crusty when I cry and I really cannot be dealing with that. Or buying tissues, £4 for a box, no thanks! I went out clubbing, made the most of being single and used the time to drown myself in the benefits of single life. Having my double bed to myself yupp, that is pretty much it.

You will look back and laugh at that time you were crying so much during the Notebook that you choked on your popcorn and threw up, I promise you that!

Sometimes I walk into my living room and look back at the time I laid on my sofa for three days straight, I called into work sick for a whole week, told my mum to get lost like 100 times as she tried to dab my tears away (bless her). I was literally a state. But I laugh at it now, I remember I was crying while watching a film about love and as I cried I choked on some really cold Ben and Jerry’s which made me cry even more because I thought I was going to die. Which of course, I wouldn’t have, ice-cream melts Soph….

How do you get over breakups or what would you recommend?


1 comment

  1. LOVE this post! My last break-up was a couple of years ago, but accepting it made it so much easier. Knowing it was over and actually I was okay with it led me to single life and ultimately my current boyfriend and someone I share a mortgage with. Great tips lovely!
    a life of a charlotte


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