Does getting under someone really help you get over someone? Ah, what a question. Truthfully and I’ll be brutally honest, everyone is different it may work for you or it may not. But I’m here today to tell you what I learnt from my ‘rebound’ experience.
So, of course, my instinct when I got dumped was to put in the group chat with my friends (aka all hormonal 18-year-old girls at the time) ‘a.s.a.p. I’m gaining weight on this Ben and Jerry’s faster than Bolt does 100 meters.’ To which the first one to see it replied something along the lines of ‘just get under someone at the club then you’ll be fine’.
Naturally for me, I was curious as hell. Would something as simple as sleeping with someone get me over this horrible feeling of heartbreak? Is that all it will take? Right, lets do it.
So I roll up to the club three days later. By roll up to the club I mean I was practically dragged and forced because all I wanted to do was cuddle my dogs and cry to soppy films that made me feel 100 times worse. After an hour of my friends pointing to guys going ‘what about him?’ I made the first move and approached a guy (I know ballsy right?). After an hour of dancing we drunkenly kissed and at that moment I knew sleeping with him would make me feel worse.
Even after a bottle of wine, a jaeger bomb that nearly killed me because I choked so hard on it and three vodkas and cokes my brain still seemed to be working. Kissing him only made me realise the things I would miss from a relationship, it made me feel sick because I’d been single three days after being so loyal for many years, it just felt too weird and was way too soon.
Although I left the club stumbling and crying to the poor taxi driver I had saved some dignity.
A few months later after watching the series Sex and the City three times, every soppy film on Netflix and even making a Tinder account I finally did the deed. I remember it because I went to a Costa Coffee after and wrote the very exact first paragraph of this article and it's been sitting in my phone notes ever since.
I felt two different emotions in that café on that day. A kind of ‘yes Soph you lad’ and a ‘you’re a fool, you dirty hoe’. Oh, and guess what? That’s right, I gained feelings for that guy. Perfect. So now I still wasn’t over my ex and now I had another problem. I’d gained feelings after a one-night stand, what the hell, who does that?
Of course, those feelings lasted a mere two hours and I realised I hadn’t gained feelings for let's call him… Bob. Those feelings of lust were just me missing my ex. I was so certain having sex with someone else would make me instantly move on. But nope, for me at least it made me miss him more, I suppose looking back I missed feeling comfortable with someone.
My point is, don’t get your hopes up that getting underneath someone else will cure heartbreak. Maybe it will, but in all honesty, girl just give yourself time.
Have you got a rebound story? I’d love to hear about it.