Saturday, 23 July 2016

I learnt the biggest love lesson ever...

Am I the only person who fears saying the words ‘I like you’, ‘I love you, ‘I want you’, ‘I miss you’ more than anything else in the world?  

Because, once you’ve told them, that’s it, you can’t take it back. They know they have you and it all gets serious (they also now know you will play with their hair for an hour straight with no complaints… I know, I have a massive soppy side)

But that’s not what is scary. The scary bit is before you have even uttered those words. The moment you realise you like that person on a deeper level it’s easy to freak out and run away.

Now I’ll be blatantly honest. I’m single as we all know because let’s face it, who wants to date the girl who is clumsy, has a laugh like a hyena and has a constant sex drive. Well, the last one makes me dateable right? I digress, I have ghosted two guys over the last year and a half. Sigh, I know, bad Sophie. But I didn’t ghost them because I’m a ‘nobhead’. I ghosted them because I started to gain feelings for them and well deleting their number was just easier than the fear of getting hurt. I also feared commitment; do I actually want to invest my precious time on another human being?

So I met someone, I let my walls down, realised I, in fact, I can be committed to one person (strangely liked it) and genuinely realised I don’t fear commitment. Although it did end and I got hurt in a way it taught me a lot.

It taught me that I no longer fear heartbreak or question if I can be committed. I won’t run away again from someone I like and here’s why.

Although it hurts and although it is terrifying to put yourself in a situation where things could get serious, isn’t it bloody worth it? If you meet someone who makes you feel comfortable, who slaps a smile on your face every time their name pops up on your phone, someone who you look forward to seeing, somebody who supports you and wants the best for you, and most importantly someone who doesn’t judge you and you can simply be yourself around. Isn’t it worth it?

I learnt that if I ever meet someone again who makes me feel like that, I’ll take it mega slow and if they bring a lot of happiness to my life, well, I’ll do my best to make them mega happy too.


1 comment

  1. Being clumsy and laughing like a hyena are hardly reasons not to date someone! And besides, if someone happily played with my hair for an hour I'd probably let them get away with much worse!

    If you're in a situation where things could get serious, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to. Although I can understand the fear of getting hurt being a real pain. I try not to think about it too much myself and just enjoy interactions with people for what they are.

    If you do find a person/people you can be yourself around, I highly recommend spending as much time with them as possible. These people don't come along as often as I'd like, sadly D:


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