Being ‘single’ is viewed in the same light as gone off milk (shitty and a pity), except of course gone off milk is utterly repulsive whereas being single can be, if done correctly, the time of your life and I’m digging it.
The truth in the matter is if you’re single people assume you’re a failure for not securing a man or a woman. They assume that you must be lonely, that you never get laid or that you cry into your pillow every single night.
Men and woman ask me daily ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ and when I say ‘no’ I almost always get the same sort of reply ‘aw that’s a shame, how comes?’ HOW COMES? Well, let me tell you why. Because I haven’t met someone right for me, because I’m content and happy, because I don’t feel like I need or will ever need to find the ‘other half of me’ I don’t need to lean on someone else, I can handle life and all of its shit perfectly fine by myself and I’m so career focused I don’t have time to sit on a sofa cuddling a boyfriend while watching Saturday night TV.
‘You’re young you will change your mind’ is another phrase my single arse is sick of hearing too. Yes, one day I may meet someone and they’ll rock my world but why the hell should I settle for anything less till then? I don’t want a boyfriend for the sake of it and so many girls and women feel like that without a boyfriend their life is dull, that there must be something wrong with them and they let the loneliness get to them too much. Let me tell you now being single does NOT make you lonely, being single does not mean that you’re unsuccessful and being single does not mean that there is something wrong with you.
I used to be terrified of being single. I worried about things like ‘What if I never find another man who will put up with my laugh?’, ‘What if I never meet anyone?’, ‘What if I never go to the Eiffel Tower with a boyfriend and put a stupid lock on a bridge?’, ‘Who will watch Netflix and cuddle me?’ Well, in my discovery I have learnt that 1, you can do all these things with friends. 2, you can do all these things and more by yourself – oh and you can still get laid when you’re single, don’t worry about that one.
Sure I like the idea of a relationship, in fact, I’m lying I love that idea. I’d never turn down genuine love but at the same time, I’ve never gone out looking for it. If it’s meant to happen for me, it will just happen, when I least expect it and if it never happens then thank god I love my own company.
In the mean time, I have no shame in being single. Being single has drawn me closer to friends, I’ve made new friends and had more ‘me’ time. I’ve focused on myself, my career and what I want out of life. I’ve matured and discovered new things, hobbies, interests and passions. Most importantly I have learnt so much about myself and who I am as an independent person. While also having a whole double bed to myself - tad lonely but at least no one accidentally leans on my hair.
Are you single? How do you feel about being single? Let me know in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org