Sunday, 4 September 2016

Sex and relationship questions answered

I have been trusted by a few of you to answer your sex and relationships questions so I solemnly swear I will keep the sarcasm to a minimum, avoid calling you an idiot and I will answer as best as I can…

I tweeted asking for people to send me their questions and received some on blog posts so I have decided to put them all in one post, see how it goes, see if anyone ends up divorced because of me and well, we will go from there!

When should you first have sex with someone you like?
In all honesty, whenever the hell you want. I don’t personally believe in ‘time limits’ if the first date feels right then you buy that ‘I fuck on the first date’ t-shirt and do your thing boo. You should feel no pressure what so ever, if they want to and you don’t, then they just have to respect that and vice versa you must respect when they are ready too. Who even made up the  ‘at least wait till the third/fourth date’ rule? Do it when it feels right and when you want to, ignore society.

If I’m attracted to someone, should I drop hints until they make a move?
It’s hard to judge this without knowing the exact situation. So I’ll tell you what I would do if I liked/was attracted to someone. I would flirt with them, make an effort with them, heck if they weren’t stepping up to the game I’d ask them out on a date. The stereotype that men have to make the first move, pay for the bill, be all romantic, needs to die. Be a sassy woman, show him you’re interested and make the first move. What have you got to lose?

I texted first yesterday, so should I wait for the guy I like to text first today?
No. This is when the fun of dating dies out when you turn it into some sort of game. It puts unneeded pressure on the person you’re dating and yourself. Chill out. Go with the flow. If you want to text him ‘good morning’ then just do it. With something petty like ‘oh I can’t text first two days in a row’ you will start to overthink, and think stuff like ‘oh he’s not interested I’ve texted first two days in a row’ just because a guy doesn’t text you first thing in the morning, whilst he’s at work, in the evening, doesn’t mean he is not interested. He has a life too don’t forget. People have commitments and are not on their phones 24/7. So send the text, don’t overthink but if you are texting him first/starting a conversation for a long period then that is a completely different issue (aka re-download Tinder because he doesn’t give a shit - sorry).

How and when should I ask for another date?
If you want another date then just go for it, send the text/call right now!

I’m still single, even though I’m in my mid to late 20s. Is this normal?
The late twenties are the new late teens, chill. Us humans live till we are like 100 now so you have plenty of time. I know loads of people all in their mid to late 20s who are single, you’re not alone. If you want to meet someone put yourself out there, dating sites, go to social events. I’m a firm believer that you will meet the one when you’re ready to meet ‘the one’.

Will pretending I’m uninterested make a person even more attracted to me?
Funny enough I’m unsure on this question myself if I’m being honest. I tested this on Tinder awhile back. To some guys, I acted keen and proper interested and to others I acted so cool and uninterested and well, the uninterested Soph got more attention. So I’m torn. Be yourself and if they’re attracted they’ll come running is my advice.

How long should I wait before texting back? I certainly don’t want to seem too eager.
Ha, who gives a shit. If he takes 4 hours to reply and you take 2 minutes 2 seconds who cares. I have no shame I literally do not care. If I’m interested in someone I reply as soon as I can, it takes two seconds to send a text. If I’m not interested then well, not going to lie I read and ignore or reply three days or a week later. There is no in-between for me.

How can I tell if the person I’m on a first date with is worth going on a second date with?
Does he make you laugh? Do you want to rip his pants off with your teeth? Are you eager to learn more about him/her? Did you come away smiling? Do you like what you’ve seen so far? If you answered yes to all of them or nodded your head then they are worth going on a second date with.

Is dating even worth it?
I felt a kind of sadness when I saw this question pop up in my emails from a young woman. She explained that she has been hurt a lot in a previous relationship so is fearful of it all happening again. I told her personally and I’ll tell you all that dating is so worth it with the right person. Not everyone will treat you like crap, cheat on you or hurt you. There is someone out there who will make you forget that you’ve ever been hurt before. And although I am as single as you can get and every single boy who has ever come into my life has fucked me over, I still look forward to the day where I realise I’ve met ‘the one’.

If you enjoyed this post and if you have any relationship or sex questions send them to or comment them below or tweet them to @JournalistSoph. If you wish to be kept anonymous let me know.


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