Jealously is a bitch. We all get jealous and feel that horrid butterfly in our stomach but you can’t let it consume you and you can’t let someone dictate your life because of one emotion.
I’ll admit, I used to get mad jealous when I was younger. I trusted my ex’s, I truly did, the jealously I felt was my own doing. I was SO insecure about myself, my looks, weight, where I was going in life. I was insecure about everything. So I just assumed I was worthless and therefore, I’d get jealous real easy because of it. But now, oh boy I couldn’t give a fuck. I’m not insecure anymore, I’m not your ideal ‘thin and beautiful’, but I have lost weight, discovered myself and I have worked my arse off career wise to make sure I go far in life.
So these tips are from me, to you.
How to deal with a jealous partner
Think about it deeply
Really think about why your partner is so jealous. Before you even ask them, give it a deep thought. Has something in their past fucked them up? Did somebody cheat on them? Are they just massively insecure? I’m not excusing their actions because of any of these things whatsoever but it will help you understand why they’re like this. If they have been cheated on in the past they need to except that you’re a new person, you’re not their ex, you have different intentions, and not everybody cheats. Perhaps suggest counseling to them if that is the root of the problem, offer to sit and chat to them about it, let them know that they can open up to you. Help to get it into their mindset that you’re not their ex, you won’t do that and slowly they will gain their trust again. If they’re jealous because of their own insecurities then the same applies, suggest counseling or just be there for them. If you do love them then it is worth it, tell them how beautiful/good looking they are, help boost their confidence,
Boundaries need to be set
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is being an actual psychopath by checking your phone, telling you who you can and can’t talk to, controlling when you can and can’t go out and who you can and can’t see then you need to set some boundaries. In all honesty, if your partner acts like this I would say deep from within me for you to end it but I know its not always that easy. So if you want to make this relationship work YOU need to set some boundaries. Change your passcode, tell them that they have to start trusting you or the relationship just isn’t going to work. Put them in their place, ‘trust me or that’s it’. Put your goddam foot down. Don’t let somebody dictate your life. You know your partner better than I do so every approach is different. I would personally sit them down and tell them the deal, get over your issues or get over me.
How to deal with your own jealously
Like I said, I was jealous because I was insecure. That’s why a lot of people are jealous it makes sense really – if you deem yourself unworthy you assume everybody else thinks you’re a piece of shit too. I found having time by myself and being single really helped me out. I had time to focus on myself and my own issues. I made a career for myself when I was single, I accepted every single opportunity, I made new friends and I spent time finding out who I was. I was lucky and managed to improve my own self-confidence but seeking counseling could really help you, especially if you don’t want to leave your partner.
Have a chit chat
I also recommend sitting down with your boyfriend/girlfriend and telling them why you’re so jealous. Be honest with them and help them understand. You never know, they may be able to help you.