We are going to have the dreaded conversation that your friends have probably had with you already but you blocked them out by picturing yourself running through a field, hand in hand with your ex. Well, get over it. This is the year that you will get over your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend and we are here at Vavaviolet to make sure that you stop checking his Facebook profile.
These following steps may sound simple as hell but when you’re missing someone and you know they only live 10 minutes away it is unbearable. If you need someone to talk to you can email and one of our writers will get back to you.
Let it out
Cry. Just cry. We have it stuck in our minds that crying is a negative action, that crying is a sign of weakness and that women shouldn’t cry anymore. I’m telling you now, fuck that and cry. You need to let your emotions out, you need to talk about it, vent, and tell your mum how much you hate his guts. You won’t be able to move on and get over them if you don’t let those emotions out. Denial won’t solve anything and besides, once you’ve told your mum someone has wronged you there is no going back.
Don’t text him while you’re shopping in Topshop to tell him his favourite song just came on, don’t tag him in bloody meme’s, and do not text him in the hope of starting up a conversation. Cut those ties. Instead when something reminds you of him/her text your friends and let them know that you’re struggling with the epic battle of not texting your ex. Or just be strong and distract yourself. Pop in your own headphones and listen to YOUR favourite song, scroll past the meme as you roll your eyes and after a while, those little things will be a distant memory.
Let’s take a break
Give your friends ears a break and write down your thoughts. That way you can read back over them in your moments of doubt. Those moments where all you want in the world is to text him, it’s those moments where you can read about how two days ago you thought he was as useless as having ice cubes in your drink on the coldest winter day.
Erm hello, you’re single
Wake up and smell the coffee. You’re single now, you can go to the club and lips as many guys as you want, you can make fun of guy’s profiles on Tinder and you can sit with your friends and stare at people’s racks with no guilt what so ever. Have fun and use the time to just live in the moment. Do all of the things you couldn’t do when you were with that ex. No one will judge you for having a rebound, well at least we won’t.
Do something you have always wanted to do but truly do it for you. Always wanted to go to Italy? Save up and go for a weekend, join a gym, start a new hobby, learn a new language. Use the breakup to your advantage. You can go one way or the other when trying to get over someone – you can either give up and become a lazy piece of arse or you can get up and do something to better yourself. Doing something new also won’t remind you of him.
Write ‘the list’
‘The list’ is something I make all of my friends do either when they’re thinking of dumping someone or after they have been dumped. Now the list is a very nifty tool of moving on but I suggest you have a friend or someone close to you with you while you do it to lend a helping hand. Now what you’re going to do is grab an A4 (or A3 if you’re a psycho) bit of paper and draw a clean line down the middle of the paper. On one side write ‘pros of not being together’ and on the other side ‘cons of not being together’. On the pros side write down all of the reasons why it is good that you’re not together, whether that’s because he was an arsehole or if his sister was a total bitch and on the cons side write down things that were good about you being together such as, ‘he had a big cock’. You get the idea. The list will help you brainstorm and will allow you to see sense in black and white.
Tag your friends who need this advice in their life or your mum, nan anyone...