I’m going to be the first woman to say it but I feel sorry for men when it comes to dating/being in a relationship.
Forget about putting yourself in their shoes, put yourself in their wallet because I can guarantee you its empty. Men feel like they have to pay for dinner because it’s ‘traditional’, the ‘manly thing to do’, ‘they should always pay’. The next time you think men have it easy think about all the ones paying for every single first date.
As women we fight for equality, we fight for the same pay check as a man who has the same title and experience as us, we battle to be seen in the same light as them but when it comes to taking off the napkin as the bill is laid down on the table we look the other direction. Why do women fuel group chats with ‘omg he didn't even offer to pay for dinner’, ‘he didn't buy me a Valentines gift’, ‘he’s never bought me flowers’. Why do women bitch about men if they don’t pay, look down at their manhood if they don’t know how to put a shelf on the wall, and think less of them if they’re not physically strong?
Ladies, up your game, pay for dinner, put the shelf on the wall and prove to men we mean business when we hold those banners up protesting for equality. Treat men equally too and don’t expect every man to pay for your steak and chips.
I asked some men in my life what pressures they feel when it comes down to being in a relationship and this was their responses:
1. Pressure to make the first move
The majority of the guys I asked all said they felt this overwhelming anxiety to be the first to make a move. So ask a man on a date girls – he is probably just too nervous to ask you.
2. Sexual performance
Men and women both feel this pressure but in different ways. One guy told me, ‘I feel like I have to be hard 24/7 and that I have to be able to make her cum every second otherwise I’m shit in bed.’
3. Be able to solve all DIY problems
You see ladies, when you ask him to fix the tire, or paint the bathroom, you’re not only asking him to do a favour he feels like you’re testing his manhood.
4. To pay for things
My friend Alex* said to me ‘If I don’t pay for dinner on a first date I just know it won’t go further and she’ll block my number. I’m too scared to even ask to spilt the bill in case it looks bad because I’m a man.’
5. Not earning enough money
Most of the guys felt a wave of pressure to be the ‘bread winner’ and to be able to support their partner as well, even if she was working…
6. Don’t be too ‘laddish’
‘Keep it to when you’re with the guys, you can’t be childish or funny in front of your woman she needs to think you’re all macho’, one man told me who has been in a relationship for 15 years.
7. To look good
All of the 10 guys I asked said they felt a lot of pressure when it came to how they look – which goes to show it is not only women that feel that way.
8. Be physically strong
Similarly to looking good, all 10 guys felt like they had to be strong enough to lift their partner up over their head and spin her around like in Dirty Dancing.
9. Get it up, or get out
‘A mans biggest fear is going soft in the moment. It’s more embarrassing than shitting yourself.’ - Mark*, 23, of Hertfordshire.
10. Not to be too friendly with other women
‘Don’t stare at another woman too long, don’t hug anyone else or reply to their Facebook message and do not mention her name while talking to your partner’. Warned one Reddit user.