I’m going
to be the first woman to say it but I feel sorry for men when it comes to
dating/being in a relationship.
Forget
about putting yourself in their shoes, put yourself in their wallet because I
can guarantee you its empty. Men feel like they have to pay for dinner because
it’s ‘traditional’, the ‘manly thing to do’, ‘they should always pay’. The next
time you think men have it easy think about all the ones paying for every
single first date.
As women we
fight for equality, we fight for the same pay check as a man who has the same
title and experience as us, we battle to be seen in the same light as them but
when it comes to taking off the napkin as the bill is laid down on the table we
look the other direction. Why do women fuel group chats with ‘omg he didn't even offer to pay for dinner’, ‘he didn't buy me a Valentines gift’, ‘he’s
never bought me flowers’. Why do women bitch about men if they don’t pay, look
down at their manhood if they don’t know how to put a shelf on the wall, and
think less of them if they’re not physically strong?
Ladies, up
your game, pay for dinner, put the shelf on the wall and prove to men we mean
business when we hold those banners up protesting for equality. Treat men
equally too and don’t expect every man to pay for your steak and chips.
I asked
some men in my life what pressures they feel when it comes down to being in a
relationship and this was their responses:
1. Pressure
to make the first move
The
majority of the guys I asked all said they felt this overwhelming anxiety to be
the first to make a move. So ask a man on a date girls – he is probably just
too nervous to ask you.
2. Sexual
performance
Men and
women both feel this pressure but in different ways. One guy told me, ‘I feel
like I have to be hard 24/7 and that I have to be able to make her cum every
second otherwise I’m shit in bed.’
3. Be able
to solve all DIY problems
You see
ladies, when you ask him to fix the tire, or paint the bathroom, you’re not
only asking him to do a favour he feels like you’re testing his manhood.
4. To pay
for things
My friend
Alex* said to me ‘If I don’t pay for dinner on a first date I just know it won’t
go further and she’ll block my number. I’m too scared to even ask to spilt the
bill in case it looks bad because I’m a man.’
5. Not
earning enough money
Most of the
guys felt a wave of pressure to be the ‘bread winner’ and to be able to support their partner as well, even if she was working…
6. Don’t be
too ‘laddish’
‘Keep it to
when you’re with the guys, you can’t be childish or funny in front of your
woman she needs to think you’re all macho’, one man told me who has been in a
relationship for 15 years.
7. To look
good
All of the
10 guys I asked said they felt a lot of pressure when it came to how they look –
which goes to show it is not only women that feel that way.
8. Be
physically strong
Similarly
to looking good, all 10 guys felt like they had to be strong enough to lift
their partner up over their head and spin her around like in Dirty Dancing.
9. Get it
up, or get out
‘A mans
biggest fear is going soft in the moment. It’s more embarrassing than shitting
yourself.’ - Mark*, 23, of Hertfordshire.
10. Not to
be too friendly with other women
‘Don’t
stare at another woman too long, don’t hug anyone else or reply to their
Facebook message and do not mention her name while talking to your partner’.
Warned one Reddit user.
