Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Let's talk about anal: Is it really a pain in the arse? and how to get pleasure from it

I was talking to a friend the other day about sex and she asked, 'how can I get pleasure from anal?'. Like I did with my friend, I'm going to tell you how you can, my experiences, what I have learned and how to do it safely.

Anal can be a pain in the backside. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you, you know we don't do that on Vavaviolet. If you don't do it right it can be agonising.

I always (well sometimes) learn from my mistakes but there was one sexual experience that was defiantly one of those times that made me learn the hard way. Back in my hoe days, I once upon a time had a one night stand. I was very drunk, and without asking he put it in my A Hole. Well, ladies, I could have cried the pain was that bad. Of course, I shoved the bastard off and left. Putting it in the butt without permission is like walking into someone's home and not wiping your shoes on the mat - it's just plain rude. 

If you're going to do anal you MUST always check the other person is okay with it first. If care isn't taken beforehand it won't be enjoyable and can cause massive discomfort. 

So, how can you stop it hurting when you try and actually enjoy anal? well ladies, let me tell you how.

Get your frisk on
Before you risk it get your frisk on. Make sure you are super horny and I don't mean just a little bit horny, I mean when you're gagging for it. Tease each other first, just get down and dirty and do whatever turns you both on. You need to be in the mood and feeling relaxed before you even bother trying.

Be comfortable
Make sure you are comfortable, make sure that you want to do anal with the person and most importantly really think about whether you're ready for this. Please don't do it with someone you don't trust - like I said I learned that lesson the hard way. If you scream 'take it out' you need to trust that your partner will take it out and won't make you feel guilty for not wanting to carry on doing anal. I've had women that have messaged me scared that if they don't do anal their partner will dump them, you don't need a nob head like that in your life trust me. You can say 'STOP' whenever you damn well please, so if you don't want it in your arse anymore it is fine to say no.

So you've decided you want to do this
Lube. Buy it all, buy a bulk, the whole shop, all of it! Lube is your best friend when it comes down to anal. Without lube, you are fucked... literally. You can apply the lube however you want, either you can do it yourself or he can do it. The best way (in my opinion) to lube it up is to put the lube on your or your partner's finger and just gently caress the area and go inside of the anus. A finger is much smaller than a penis (sadly not always the case) and therefore will ease you into it. I highly recommend easing yourself into it before just inserting the penis.

All lubed up
Once you are all lubed up and feel comfortable you can always put lube on his penis or a sex toy as well. 

Getting on it
Find a position that you feel most comfortable in. Many people prefer the doggy position for anal because if it does hurt you can easily push them off and you have more control than if you were laying down. In doggy, it is also easier for the guy to control his speed and in this situation that is super important.

Tell your man to push his penis in real slowly. You're in no rush and you want to go slow at first so that you don't cause any skin to rip. Get your man to thrust really slowly at first and then once you start to feel pleasure you can tell him to go harder and faster if you want him to. Don't feel bad if you don't enjoy it - not everyone does! 

If you have any questions about anal or sex you can email me at or you can send me an anonymous question or sexual dilemma by visiting my Curious Cat page (click here)

Comment down below what posts you would like to see on vavaviolet - I will return all comments!

Photo credit: Getty Images.


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