Monday, 12 June 2017

How to roleplay in bed without the awkwardness

How the f*ck do you tell a new partner you want to roleplay? How do you make it not awkward? How does it even work? Ladies, lemme tell you how. 

Roleplay can add some serious fire to your sex life especially if you have been with your partner for a long time. But for it to be hot it has to be done right. 

Adultery is so 2015. If you have ever fantasised about doing the plumber, a police officer, even the gas man, then this is your chance. We all have fantasies and that is absolutely fine. As long as your partner is up for acting them out with you then this is a really healthy way to make your fantasies come to life - it might also save your relationship. 

How do I tell my partner I want to roleplay?

You just do it. If they're your partner you should feel comfortable enough to tell them - if you don't feel comfortable talking to them about it then maybe question why you don't feel comfortable. For some, understandably, they are embarrassed by asking to roleplay as it is annoyingly viewed as 'strange' by some of society. But roleplaying isn't strange and it certainly doesn't need to be an embarrassing conversation. But DO NOT have this conversation while in the middle of already having sexy time. It will put your partner in an awkward situation if they don't want to and it could potentially ruin the moment. I recommend bringing it into the conversation gently. Ask them 'do you have any fantasies?', or if you already know for example that they would love to do it with a nurse then ask them 'how would you like it if I dressed up as a nurse?'. Introduce it slowly, start by just dressing up, and work up to acting as if you're in a Hollywood movie. 

How do I roleplay?

Ladies and gentleman, however, you damn well want. Dress up, be naked, do different makeup, act, don't act, just do what you're both comfortable with. There is no set way to roleplay. If you want you can watch some roleplay porn and get ideas from that but don't depend on it, it's down to you to discover what you like. You can also gather ideas for roleplay from a tonne of other things, films, books, TV shows. Write down a list of things you'd like to try roleplaying and show your partner over a coffee - that way you can get excited about what you're going to try out.

What if my partner rejects the idea?

And? It's his/hers choice. You can't force anyone to do anything that they don't want to. If you're upset that your partner rejected your sexual fantasy then don't take it personally. There is always porn at the end of the day...

Written by VavaViolet's Editor-In-Chief Sophie Blackman.


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