Tuesday, 11 July 2017

10 things you should know before you try anal sex

Anal sex seems to be one of those taboo subjects that is often not spoken about in the sex chats we have with friends. I'll admit the thought of it causes my arse cheeks to clench and my face to resemble the bitter squint you get after biting into a lemon, but why is this? Because it's a bit like marmite you either love it or hate it, but for those who speak openly and are regular participants of the sexual act, or for those like me who panic at the thought of letting someone touch my bottom here are 10 things you should know before getting down and dirty.

1. Disclaimer - If you don’t want to try it you don’t have to! Sexual pleasure is, of course, important but it is a two-way street. In as many ways as you can you want to blow your partner's mind, however, if it gets to a point where death looks more appealing, just say no. At the end of the day if your partner pressures you about it too much and you've said no, tell them that they are welcome to whack the cucumber out and give it a go on themselves.

2. Wet, wet, wet - Lubrication is key. If you're like me and allergic to lube this maybe why you fear anal so much but there is options out there. There is a common misconception that you can have too much lube, for anal this rule does not apply. Less lube equals more friction for the guy which may increase his pleasure but unless you want to feel like a cosy home for a pearlfish, I suggest the more lube the merrier. Think slip and slide on a hot summer's day rather than bare leg vs plastic chair.

3. Top tip - Getting the tip in is the most painful as it is the widest part, but who says that good things can’t be painful, to begin with. I mean regular sex hurt the first time for most of us, and plus childbirth is painful and look at the good that comes from that (this, of course, is a matter of opinion).

4. Relax - Like the nurse used to say when you get jabs in school, the more relaxed you are the less it hurts. Do it somewhere you feel safe such as in a bed, you'll feel more at ease that way.

5. Poo problems - You will feel like you are going to sh*t yourself but the likelihood is that you won’t, but it will be hard to tell.

6. Be prepared - An accidental slip can cause issues (and explosive diarrhoea) but just remember this is a sensitive area of the body and for many it will be a place unexplored before so don’t enter it all guns blazing or it could be a showdown more awkward than a western, someone is going to get hurt.

7. Keep calm and carry on - Go slowly, the fable with the hare and the tortoise has never been more appropriate. Even with preparation, there is likely to be some pain, many say that the first few times are painful and involve lots of deep breathing. Foreplay can help but inevitably the first time is going to hurt, it is something that you have to build up too.

8. Bend over - Doggy style is probably best, you can control the speed and rhythm and it is something pretty familiar which makes it more comfortable than attempting a headstand upside down while his rod thrusts inside you.

9. Safety first - Condoms are still just as important as they are normally. They provide more lube which is hugely important, and they protect against HPV and other sexually transmitted diseases which cause risks (yes you can still get STD's through anal sex).

10. Can you repeat that? - If at first, you don’t succeed try again, or don’t. Listen, no one is going to judge you if you say no, there is often no harm in trying but remember it is what you feel comfortable with, you control it, it is ultimately your decision and if they don’t like it they can jump on a dildo and ride into the sunset.

Written by VavaViolet's Managing Editor Jessica Murray.
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