Monday, 4 September 2017

10 ways to catch a woman's attention on a dating app


There’s a lot of pressure on men when it comes to romance that most women tend to look past. We expect them to approach/start a conversation first, flowers and LouBoutins, and of course, the one that makes me grind my teeth the most… that they should pay for the first date. Now ladies, imagine the stress of starting a conversation on Tinder…

I spoke to 10 single guys on how they feel about dating apps, if they work, and if they’ve been successful or not. Nine guys out of the group said they have no idea how to approach/catch a woman’s attention on a dating site/app. So, I asked 10 single girls what they think men can do to get lucky in love from how they start conversations, selfies, to what they put in their description/bio.

So, what did the girls have to say:

“Don’t put up six pictures of you and your mates, how are we supposed to guess which one is you? Just put up selfies of yourself we don’t care what your mates look like. Also, don’t use baby photos from back in the day, if we fancied babies we’d be in prison. While we’re on the matter of photos, use current ones, not selfies from your holiday back in 2007. Get your mate with the latest snapper to snap you good.”

“Don’t start a chat by talking about sex, how big your dick is, how good you are in bed, etc etc. Yes, dick pics are included. Don’t ask me if I want to ‘go to your yard’ or ‘go for a drive’. Don’t put winky faces in the first couple of messages, that’s too keen or put too many kisses, one is enough.”

“Opening a chat with ‘you’re buff/sexy/etc.’ isn’t going to grab my attention. In fact, it actually puts us off. We’re more than our looks, actually get to know us and introduce yourself first.”

“Do not lie about your age and put it as 24 and then write in your bio ‘I’m not 24 I’m actually 18 haha x’ I am so sick of seeing those.”

“Just be honest with us. If you just want a shag let us know in a gentleman like fashion or if you are actually looking for love then drop it in the chat. We respect honesty so much and it’s a turn on. That includes the first date, if you want to spilt the bill then just say. A respectful woman will offer anyways but you shouldn’t feel like you have to pay.”


“I like to have banter when getting to know someone on a dating app so don’t be scared to have a joke with a girl. We like to have banter just as much as you do.”

"Don't do the same pose in all of your photos, it makes you look boring. We want to see your whole face, your body (not naked), and it’s nice to include some outdoor shots as well.”

“Spice up your profile by adding your music taste, favourite film genre, just give us a little snippet of your interests but not too much information as it’s fun to get to know each other and not just read it in your bio. Girls will be more likely to start a conversation first if they have something to use such as asking you why you like the band Paramore so much.”

“F*ck off with the checklists. If I see one more ‘I’m looking for a blonde woman who will shave my back and has great banter’ I will scream. It won’t get you anywhere, it makes you come across as arrogant. You’re not in Tesco looking for tomato sauce and it’s suddenly going to jump out in front of you, the same goes for being on Tinder.”

“Include someone you adore in one of your pictures, such as your mum or grandma. It’s just adorable and shows us that you have a heart and a caring side. But please pick your grandma, nothing beats a grandma selfie!”

Once you’ve had a second to take that all in and quickly remove those groups shots and replace it with one of you and your grandma on Christmas Day there is one important thing you need to take away from this article: All women are different and want different things, you can’t please us all.

Be yourself but use these tips to better your profile and encourage women to want to get to know you. Think of it like a CV, have much time do you spend selling yourself on those? Exactly.



Let us know how you get on by tweeting us at @VavaVioletMag



Written by VavaViolet's Founder and Editor-in-Chief Sophie Blackman.


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