Monday, 11 June 2018

How to get over someone that just isn't that into you

I've lost count of the number of times I’ve told my friends ‘just get over him’, ‘block him’ yet this hypocrite over here has never even hovered her finger over the block button.

Do I take my own advice? Of course not. Does anyone actually take their own advice? Do I take my friend’s advice? Of course not.

I, like I’m sure many of us do, often sit and listen to my friends moan about a guy who is clearly not interested in them or is treating them bad. I’m a very good listener and I sit there, nod, occasionally go ‘hmm’ and then I clear my throat and tell them straight to stop being a wet sock and give up on him. Time passes until the same guy pisses them off and once again I nod and repeat my speech.

It’s infuriating when a strong woman lets a man walk over her, especially when she’s your friend. It’s so easy to sit there and preach something but when it comes to doing it yourself…

I’ve never liked being told what to do. I need to realise for myself when I need to make corrections in my life. Whether it's your husband, boyfriend, friend with benefits or a guy you like, the time will come when it hits you that you just have to walk away.

Hope is a powerful thing and sometimes its good to keep close but it can end up destroying you. I adored someone for a very long time and I always hoped he felt the same way. I longed to show him that I’d try every damn day to make him happy. So I took my friends advice (for the first time ever) and it ended badly so I shall not be doing that again.

However, I learned this. Never chase a man who says he doesn’t want a relationship because no man that wants you would ever say that to you. You just weren’t enough to make him realise that you really can have it all.

This has happened to a few of my mates, where a guy has told them he isn’t looking for a relationship or anything serious and soon after he’s all loved up. The harsh reality is that in his eyes, you weren’t good enough for him. Someone came along and he fell for them more than he ever fell for you.

Clicking on this article you may have been expecting a list containing the following: Get a revenge body, sleep around, have fun, travel, etc etc. But the truth is, all you really need to do to get over someone is let reality hit you.

Let it sink in that it is never ever going to happen. If they want you they will tell you and if they don’t, you can’t change that so why cry about it? If your husband or boyfriend is treating you bad, why are you wasting your time? It’s time to listen to your friends, your inner thoughts and do something about it.

Be there for your friends when they moan about him/her but also be there for them when their world comes crashing down and don’t ever say “I told you so”. 

Written by VavaViolet’s Founder and Editor-in-Chief Sophie Blackman.



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