Monday, 12 November 2018

The book that made me realise I am indeed, the F word


I’m a girly girl, I shave everything, I love men, I’m submissive in the bedroom, I wear pink, so I always assumed I wasn’t a feminist.

Because a feminist breaks barriers by refusing to wear pink, hating all men, having long curly armpit hair and saying a big f*ck you to all beauty standards, right? I always thought of modern feminists as a group of whiney women who had nothing better to do than moan.

I didn’t realise how ill-advised I was until I read this book and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’ve been a feminist all my life.

I realised I was a feminist when I thought about the times I’ve sat at my desk, as a qualified journalist and had a man down the phone ask if he can talk to a male journo instead.


I opened my eyes to the fact that sex ends when the man cums and very often we’re left lying there, unsatisfied because ‘some’ men see that as the ending and it doesn’t matter if the women enjoyed it.

I got angry when I thought about the time's men have turned bitter and treated me and others like pure sh*t after politely rejecting their offer to hop in their bed.

I really realised I was a feminist when I thought about all those women in third world countries being forced by their own fathers to marry men, the women who are domestically abused by men who use their physical power over them, that in the workplace men are still in 2018 seen as ‘more skilled’.   

I discovered I was a feminist when this book showed me what that word really means these days.

Although the word itself sounds like it’s just for women, it’s not. Feminism means equality for all, for men and women to be equal, not one better than the other.


To me, being a feminist means that I fight both corners. Men should treat women like their peers and not undermine us, but I also think we shouldn’t corrode men. Guys should be able to show emotions and cry without being told to “man up”, they shouldn’t be expected to pay for dates merely because they have a penis dangling between their legs, and we shouldn’t stereotype that they are all f*ck boys.

This book, full of essays from inspirational and famous women including Emma Watson, Jameela Jamil, Kiera Knightly and women in top jobs such as surgeons and lawyers, shows you every single side of modern-day feminism.

The assumptions held on this campaign couldn’t be more wrong, and I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So, thank you, Scarlett Curtis, for creating the positive Burn Book that we all needed. A book that shows that feminism isn’t full of scary bitter women but instead a community of intelligent women who just want some damn respect.



Written by VavaViolet’s Founder and Editor-in-Chief Sophie Blackman.


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