Wednesday, 5 December 2018

Single and the City: Every night in London is date night, whether you like it or not


I haven’t wanted a partner for over a year but the second my life moved to London and I discovered it wasn’t the singleton city I thought it’d be, I crumbled. 
Being surrounded by intelligent men dressed in suits and hard-working women who look like they’ve just walked out of Vogue is enough to make anyone’s head turn - and mine has never spun around so fast in my life.
A month ago, I packed my belongings into a box and left my job as a reporter at my local paper, took one last look around the office and blinked to stop the tears from rolling down my face. 
That place had been my second home when times were tough work was my happy place, and the people I worked with were like family so to leave it all to start a new life in one of the busiest cities in the world, made my stomach churn. 


Although I miss my old desk that overlooked the most beautiful view of my hometown, the first time I stepped into the new office by London Bridge I knew I was going to fall in love hard and fast.
It’s been almost a month and while being head over heels in love with my job, it’s thrown my track of thought in a direction that I really do not want it to go down.
I’m stubborn, unbelievably so, when my nan said she’d like to see me get married I said “tough sh*t” because I want to focus on my career, climb every step of the corporate ladder and would rather get a cracking mortgage than walk down the aisle in white.
I spent my teenage years in relationships and whilst they were incredible years and memories I will cherish for a lifetime, my twenties are for me, myself and I. And possibly a future dog…
I assumed being single while working and potentially moving to London would be a piece of cake. I thought everyone would be single, in it for the career and occasional hook-up. I was partly wrong.
The majority, are deeply in love and spend their evenings either curled up on the sofa they paid halves on while watching Netflix or walking hand-in-hand through Winter Wonderland.
For the first time, in a very long time, I’ve been struck by the dreaded thought of “this is what I’m missing”.
The thing I find most attractive in a person isn’t their good looks, it’s drive. There is nothing sexier than a man or woman who works hard and knows what they want. 
I gave up wanting a relationship when I couldn’t find anyone who, being honest, shared my drive. As harsh as it sounds, my ideal partner would earn similar to me as I’m not about to be a babysitter and now I’m bloody surrounded by people with incredible drive.
London has made me realise, you really can have it all.
You can focus on yourself, see your friends, earn your money, work hard and also come home to someone who will support you and be climbing that ladder with you. 
As I’ve seen from the couples around me, being in a relationship doesn’t stunt your life or growth.
So, in the name of journalism and creating content, I and a few others are going to see what London has to offer. 
From speed dating to singles clubs to even sh*ttty Tinder, we’ve planned to test it all.
And if I don’t find someone, I won’t be fussed even in the slightest because finally, at the grand old age of 22, I’m content in myself and don’t feel ‘needy’ or ‘desperate’ to split the cost of a sofa with someone.
I’ll just buy the damn thing by myself.


Written by VavaViolet's Founder and Editor-in-Chief Sophie Blackman. 


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