Thursday, 23 July 2020

We’ve got love so, so wrong | Opinion


We’ve got love so wrong. Those rom coms you think never happen, they do we just choose to predominantly focus on the negatives. 

Furious arguing, cheating, violence, it's too normalised and it is a reality we should not accept in our relationships with absolutely anyone. Full stop. 

But its funny isn't it. We're so desperate to be loved and to love that we settle.

I'll hold my hands up high right now. I'm no saint and I have made many mistakes when it comes to love. 

Because I didn't know how to love. I was desperate.

I had good relationships. Get on with all of my exes and have never - luckily - had to, or felt the need to, leave it at a sour end.

However, while in those relationships I focused on the negatives. Paid too much attention to my insecurities. Didn't enjoy the moment. Would argue for the sake of it just to release frustration because I was always too damn chicken to walk away.

Not anymore. I'm straight out that door. 

Alarm bell one I'm a bit like, 'Hmmmmm, okay. Be wary'.

Red flag two and I'm gone.

When I used to watch rom coms I'd be very jealous. I'd lay back and think to myself, 'where the fuck is my Joey Tribbiani?'.

Now, I smile because I know sis (me, I am sis) is not going to settle. 

This includes exes and ex flings. The friendzone can actually be a lovely little space when you both trust and respect one another. Friends for life although you may not speak for years.

Yes, it also means I now no longer use dating apps and have deleted every single one from my phone. This also means I can not, and will never, write about them or advertise them again (that's a semi-new opinion of mine for another day). 

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As people tend to like to remind me, I may die alone with cats - and dogs. This is in fact quite possible. 

You see, I've had three years to myself and I've come to a little realisation.

My life is going to be its own fairy tale because I'm starting to enjoy my own company and animals are just a lot nicer than humans anyway, to be honest.

It will have bumps. Chaos is attracted to me but we are braced and we are ready for a bumpy ride.

Who knows,

Maybe I'll move across the world. To a jungle and work with animals. 

Perhaps one day I might actually finish a book and it may interest some and I'll move to a city.

Could possibly also meet the love of my life and decide a family is - after all - for me. (Must say, I do feel sorry already for my premature being. Most likely will be the 'embarrassing mum').

Feasibly could also live a very content life doing my current job. Slowly working up the ladder as I learn, getting a mortgage near my family and friends with some dogs and a cute little garden. Swinging booze back and laughing into the evening.

For all I know I could die tomorrow and so, therefore, I'm bloody glad I made the most of today.

Or,

Who knows, maybe I'll even get a divorce at some point!

If it's not meant to be, I'm really going to let shit be.

That's what I think love is... anyways.



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    Over time I've come to think that it really isn't the cliche of meeting someone. 

    Some of us (lucky bastards) are born loving ourselves - that's cool as hell.

    Others have to fight to love who they are and some tragically never open that door, so we must help where we can.

    Love is being so content in yourself that you're going to adore and make the most, of whatever happens to you.

    So, if my heart gets broken 1,000 times, at least I tried? 

    If I have to get a divorce, it will be for good reason and I'll have a party regardless because why the fuck not? 

    Potentially could end up having children and if I do, its because I believe in myself 110% that I'm going to be the best fucking mum on this planet. 

    And if a career lifestyle is a route for me, then that's cool I do like fancy cocktails.

    I'm just not going to do anything half-arsed. 

    If I want to give something attention, I will give it my everything and it will therefore quite literally, just happen. 



    Written by VavaViolet's Founder and Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman. 


    Inspiration: As I mentioned for the first time in my last article, if a song, a piece of art, writing etc, etc inspired a piece I'll mention it to share some love to another creator.
    For this particular piece, it was inspired by the song Mr Nobody by Deb Never.  

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