Wednesday, 28 April 2021

32 women share the most awkward thoughts they have ever had during sex

From time to time as we're either riding or getting humped repeatedly our minds stir away from sex too awkward thoughts - or to question what the fuck you're doing.

Thirty-two rather hilarious and bold VavaViolet Magazine readers, including some from our trans sisters who are always welcome here, came forward to share with us the most strange/awkward thought they have ever had while having sex all in the name of well, just a laugh really.

Some of you have really been through the war zones, bless you, while others have quite honestly had some shocking experiences by the sounds of things.

Many were savage (thank you, it's gladly appreciated) and your minds really do wander off (relatable).

Please remember, these are just thoughts - as many are really mean and toxic but also sarcastic - to be honest, we all have those thoughts naturally however it is never okay to say harmful thoughts out loud. 

This article is for entertainment purposes and all identities have been kept anonymous so no feelings get hurt. Stay kind!

Get your backbone ready, here's what the ladies had to say...

1. "I'd rather be fucking his brother."

2. "This is so toxic I'm just here for the shag."

3. "Poo, oh shit. I need a poo."

4. "Is it toxic to want his dad to hear?"

5. "He cheated on me and here I am, sucking his dick. Silly, silly tart."

6. "How do I ask a man to lick jam off of me?"

7. "His room, I just kept thinking, I know I'm a hoe, but get me out of here..."

8. "He just stank."

9. "One time I had no thoughts it was so dry I just laid there looking at the ceiling daydreaming away."

10. "This man must be eating takeaways every day."

11. "When do men's penis' stop growing *makes mental note to Google later as this isn't it*."

12. "Ima cheat if this doesn't improve."

13. "Why he hitting it like that? Who taught him this crap?"

14. "He's never doing that move before. Or that one. Oh, I think he's cheating again."

15. "Did he just sniff my vagina? He fully did as well!"

16. "After one guy showed me his willy I couldn't hide the thoughts, I burst out laughing."

Enjoying these brutal thoughts and want to read more articles like it? Why not check out:

- 25 women reveal their most SHOCKING SEX confessions

- 20 thoughts woman actually have while grinding/bouncing in cowgirl

- 20 reasons why women bloody love the spoon position during sex

- Meet the men who broke their penises - and one sex position is the common factor

17. "The sooner this ends, the better."

18. "Picked the ugly one out of his friends, didn't I. It's all I could ever think about."

19. "Thought to myself, 'I'd rather be dead' once."

20. "Another, 'If I died right now, I wouldn't mind so much'.

21. "...,"A train could hit into us right now and I'd thank Jesus."

22. "Queef or fart, time will tell."

23. "Every time I fall for this stupid man's shit."

24. "I could be making money doing this instead of for free."

25. "Came on my period once, he asked if I needed an ambulance because he didn't realise. Thought, 'you fucking tit'."

26. "Nasty story for ya, one time banged heads mid shag and my nose bled everywhere. He told me to leave. I cried."

27. "This is so awful, I don't even know if it's in."

28. "I feel like crying. Why do I feel like crying?"

29. "Kept clock watching once, he hopped off angrily and thought to myself, 'well, this is a trick to tell the girls'."

30. "Just kept thinking, 'group chat main character moment looming'."

31. "Period all over his bed, checked the sheets labels 'John Lewis', thought, 'ah shit'."

32. "I always thought I'd like big balls slapping against me but it turns out, I don't." 

Written by, through the voices of VavaViolet Magazine readers.

Edited by, VavaViolet Magazine's Founder and Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman.



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