Sunday, 9 May 2021

The intricate art of balance: How to set your boundaries | By Life Coach Jadie White

Knowing where to set your boundaries can be one of the hardest challenges to humankind. It’s difficult because there can be no guide book that fits all as everyone has their own set off-limits and personal drainers around them.

Setting boundaries requires knowing yourself. Becoming aware of your own inner conflict, a knowing of your inner world, and your personal tipping points.

Truth be told, boundaries have always been something I’ve struggled with personally. 

Losing myself in the gratification world of giving too much, losing myself in this endless chase for reward, acknowledgement, love.

I truly don’t believe you can really find your own personal boundaries until your balance scales have been tipped over. Until your cup is drip drop empty. Until actual parts of yourself have been taken by someone/something else in the midst of you trying to receive meaning.

Because that’s the reason for everything right? This feeling of euphoria, of incomparable bliss, love, praise, meaning to our entire existence, that we believe we can only reach by more more more.

I offer an alternative perspective. 

We forget that we are in constant co-creation with the Universe, we give, the Universe gives. 

So how about if the trick to creating boundaries was to honour your natural rhythm. The knowing of the exact moment to stop the yielding and turn to face the wind to receive.

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Just like the natural eb and flow of the inhale and exhale. The inhales produce the fire, the movement, the giving of oxygen to self. 

And then just as naturally, the exhale releases to stillness, to acceptance, to receive. The intricate art of balance.

I give in to the moments of high-frequency energy, movement, euphoria, fullness. And I receive in the slow stillness. The rhythm so beautifully aligns with the ebs and flows of life. 

Once we can truly honour our own individual flow, we will find peace. Here we can find balance.

Ask yourself, where do you tend to struggle to create boundaries or balance?

Then, what are the physical indications that you know your scale is tipping one way?

What energy is being created in your body in these moments of imbalance? Desperation, urge to crave, giving to receive, giving to prove? What is it for you?

And then, when you can start to feel your scales tipping, how can you mindfully bring yourself back to this place of surrender and self-discipline? 

This is where your boundaries are created.

By all means, you may not perfect this the first time, or the second time, or even the 50th time but in the space of awareness and the act of trying is where your growth lies. 

This act of practice is where your resiliency is built. There is no guide book, there is only knowing of yourself more deeply. 

If you don’t know where your boundaries are being crossed, I urge you to start with exploring the question, "What and where do you notice your energy being drained?".

Written by VavaViolet's columnist and Life Coach, Jadie White.


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