Wednesday, 9 June 2021

10 ways to fall madly in love with yourself - because it's okay to do so


In a world that is so busy and demanding it is very easy to wind up pleasing others in relationships, at work or even in your friendships but forgetting you deserve to give yourself the same love and attention.

It can be so easy to fall out of love with yourself in this chaotic lifetime or in so many cases, to not even feel worthy enough to love yourself in the first place. 

All relationships have ups and downs including the one you have with yourself.

So for those down moments, here are 10 things you can do to get yourself falling in love with you again:

Weekly check-ins with someone else can be great but the most important thing is to check in with yourself at least once a week. 

Write down your thoughts in a book, journal, on a blog or just in the note pages of your phone but physically write them down so you can compare week by week to see the progress you’re making on your personal goals. 

Use this time to reflect on both the positives and negatives and look at what circumstances help or hinder your positivity and progress. 

If something isn’t working changing it can make all the difference even taking small steps can make a huge difference. 

It could be as simple as tidying up your workspace, organising a cupboard or prioritising your money. 

Being tidy and organised will help you to feel more in control of yourself and your surroundings. It will psychology make huge impacts - even if you take half an hour a day to tidy. 

By prioritising your tasks you will be less stressed and get your priorities in check. 

In regards to money-saving, it can be a great way to allow yourself to splurge on something indulgent every once in a while or save for mortgages etc. Take a look at your cash flow and reduce spending on that none essential third Costa of the week and soon you’ll be well on your way to being able to reward yourself with something grander!

Not only does this apply to saying no to others but as well as this you need to learn to say no to yourself too! 

Time is precious and you need to prioritise what is most important and focus on those things. Sometimes you have to give up small passing things to focus on the bigger picture or long term goal, even if you want to do those things at the time. 

Exercise or just spending time outside is an excellent way to boost your mood. 

Find a form of exercise that you really enjoy and this will help you to appreciate your body for what it is.

You don’t have to run a marathon even walking is a great way to increase your endorphins and get you feeling good.  

With the weather getting better why not sit outside to meditate, study or work if you can as the more time you spend outside the more peaceful you will feel, plus sunlight is a natural mood enhancer (good old Vitamin D).


Enjoying the article on self-development and want to read more? Check out: 

- Self-development will take you places nothing else can, it can also save your life | Editor's Letter

- Gaining control over alcohol: What is sober curiosity and is it for me?


Learning something new often makes you feel empowered by your new sense of knowledge. 

Even broadening your education on a subject you already know about or looking at a different opinion can challenge your way of thinking. 

This allows your thought patterns to broaden making new connections in your brain.

There are many mixed reviews about social media but looking at certain content can truly help to boost your self-love, however like everything it works well as part of a balanced life and spending hours on end on socials can become damaging. 

Taking a social media break once a fortnight for at least 12 hours straight can make such a huge difference. 

Turn off all of your electronics and just fully immerse yourself in the here and now.

Too often we beat ourselves up or take the mickey out of our biggest insecurities as a form of defence. 

It is easy when having a bad day to punish ourselves by telling ourselves we are not good enough, we are ugly or we don’t deserve to be happy but it is important to take a step back and evaluate the situation. 

If someone was talking about your friend like that how would you react and how would that make you feel? If the answer is angry or upset there are enough people in the world trying to put you down don’t be another one. Be kind to yourself.

Looking after yourself is a great way to clear your mind as well as looking good. 

Treat yourself, read a book or take a relaxing bath. Downtime shouldn't just be spent doing the things you have to do but also doing the things you want to do. 

Some self-care in the bedroom is also a great way to determine your likes and dislikes and it can be really relaxing as well as fun.

They say that travel broadens the mind a great deal and builds character. 

With the lockdown restrictions lifting it shouldn’t be too much longer before you can get back on a plane but at the moment any kind of break in the UK or away does not go unappreciated. 

Travel not only forces you to test your extremes but also pushes you out of your comfort zones as well as creating amazing memories and meeting new people.  

Allow your relationship with yourself to constantly and intentionally evolve.

This may be the most important one as it is important to remember that this isn’t a quick fix and it is key to continue to allow your relationship with yourself to change and grow. 

Outside influences and public opinion can often change how you feel about yourself, but just continue to see this as the most important relationship in your life - the one with yourself.

It is never going anywhere so you may as well focus on making it as positive as possible.



Written by VavaViolet's writer, Jessica Murray


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