Monday, 30 August 2021

5 areas of life that could be holding your self-confidence hostage


It's no secret upping your self-confidence will bring success into your life, but it's what holds us back that we tend to turn a blank eye to and put to the back of our minds.

We are all aware of general reasons why it's good to up our self-confidence or self-esteem. We all know it can make us stronger and allow us to navigate social situations with ease.

The problem is, many of us are unaware of how deeply our self-esteem is embedded into our thought process and, therefore, how we feel about ourselves.

In turn, the way we perceive ourselves manifests in everyday life in five key areas.

This article is a wake-up call to make you realise that working on your self-confidence and self-esteem will be the best time you have ever invested.

It will make you richer, happier and of course – more confident!

But first, we need to change our perspectives on a few things.

Going from a poor mindset, too a rich one and transforming a limited state of mind to an open one does come at a price. Nonetheless, it's worth everything you are going to shred.

Remember, it all starts from within. Our perception of ourselves echoes itself back to us in every area of life you could think. Thus, the creation of our reality is brought into existence by our thoughts first.

To break it down so you can make an effective change, let's take a deep dive into this concept by examining these five areas that your self-confidence impacts massively and how to shift the energy:

I have chosen to start with this one as it will ruffle the most feathers, nonetheless, it is the one people do not equate being confident with, but it plays its part.

Your bank balance is a direct reflection of what you believe you deserve for it to be.

You may be hustling harder than ever and doing your best to make ends meet, but for some reason, you can never get beyond a certain number to sit in that bank.

Or maybe, you are someone who increasingly brings in more money, but then POOF! It's gone almost immediately when it arrives.

If you have this issue, it is known as a concept called the 'financial thermostat' and believe it or not, it's deeply tied to our self-esteem.

Imagine the thermostat that controls the heating in your home. When you set it to 21, it will aim to reach 21 degrees then cut off.

You have, through your self-esteem, set your thermostat to 18 but want it at 25.

No matter how hard you work or strive, you find yourself at 18 yet again!

Subconsciously the vicious cycle begins once beliefs about how much you deserve to earn or have in your account form.

Deep down, if you were to honestly question your beliefs around money and what you deem yourself worthy of receiving, you would see you are limiting yourself.

A person with high self-esteem believes they are limitless and that no amount of money is too much for them as they are abundant.

Abundance is the never-ending flow of the universe we can tap into that lives within us, a product of the universe.

A highly confident person is guaranteed an ever-increasing bank balance and career successes as they know their worth and carry themselves this way.

They know when to say no to a job offer with a salary lower than what they truly want.

A deeply confident individual goes after what they want in their career and succeeds because they believe they deserve it.

Believing you deserve a promising career and a higher level on the financial thermostat is a quality of having a high opinion of yourself and your unique skills!

And guess what, it's okay to believe that you're good at what you do. It's okay to want more for yourself.

We've all received advice to love ourselves or focus on ourselves when all we want is a partner, right?

Sometimes this is frustrating advice, but there is a truth to it. Just like the financial thermostat, we subconsciously set what we deserve.

A subconscious belief that does not serve us positively is known as a 'limiting belief'.

One of the key things I like to break down into with my coaching clients is the limiting beliefs holding them back. However, 90% of the time, it is linked to their self-esteem and opinion of themselves.

Just like with money, what you believe you deserve is what you will manifest time and time again. If your limiting belief is that you attract cheaters or people who do not put you first, this will keep going – just like the thermostat cutting off when it reaches the set point - you don't think you deserve better, but you do.

A highly confident individual with rock hard self-esteem knows they are a great partner.

Self-loving folk know their good qualities like the back of their hand and the bad, but they also know they are worth loving, staying loyal, and building a future.

We all know a girl who has gone through relationships always cherished and respected.

We watch from a distance scornfully while we deal with partners who do not fulfil our needs or, worse yet, hurt us while this girl tends to navigate the world of love blissfully.

If you sincerely think about it, this girl most likely has very high self-esteem. She knows what she wants from a partner and does not settle – this comes with working on your self-esteem.

When you have a high opinion of yourself because you are confident in yourself, you are less swayed by a new romance and more focused on seeing if this person is genuinely good for you.

You value yourself and your time. Thus, you show others how to treat you. You know that it is better to be by yourself rather than unhappy with someone who is not giving you 100%.

The thing is, it requires seeing yourself as perfectly lovable, strong and someone who deserves the best.

It is hugely empowering to put your needs first in the context of romance. You will also, less likely, waste your time on people who do not align with you.

Health is the key to our being. When we are not feeling ourselves, we cannot perform at work, be a great friends or take care of ourselves in the best way.

Having confidence is also crucial in maintaining optimum health. Believe it or not, let me explain.

Society from a young age teaches us much about how we can heal our body with pills or treatments, but the masses do not get educated on the magic and strength of our body and mind!

To have high self-confidence is to believe in your body to continue keeping healthy.

Whether you want to age gracefully, lose weight, cure an ongoing ailment or be free from a mental health issue, trust in your body is the starting place.

I am not suggesting you ditch the pills and modern medicine, but to respect that your body and mind are doing the work. The medication or treatment is simply the helper.

Your body and the trillions of cells in it work tirelessly every single moment to not just keep you alive but regulate your heart rate to a safe pace, keep your internal temperature perfect, grow your skin, hair and nails and keep your organs working with no hitches. How amazing is that? Have you ever taken a moment to be grateful for that?!

If you are trying to improve something in your health, first start by having confidence in your body to aid you in healing/changing.

So, if you are trying to be healthier, have confidence in the future version of yourself, always making the right decision. Too often, we start a diet or exercise plan and know we will fail.

With self-confidence, have faith in the future, you always making healthy decisions.

Your body will thank you for a high opinion of yourself and your future self.

When we are young children in our formative years, all we have is our parents and family. They are our whole environment, and we wish so much to please them and make them happy.

Often this continues beyond young childhood even into adulthood. Even though we believe we grow out of looking for validation from parents/family, we often find ourselves subconsciously making decisions in our career, love life and lifestyles which may please our family.

Unfortunately, this is not always apparent to us and even the most rebellious of teens still deep down seek validation from their parents.

However, this often stops us from 100% being ourselves or living life as we truly want to in adulthood.

Heightened self-confidence gives us the trust in ourselves to take the decision we are scared of or maybe wouldn't be approved by our parents and go with it.

A truly confident and self-loving human trusts that they can find their path without worrying about the acceptance of their family.

Someone with true self-worth knows they are lovable and acceptable regardless of what career they may want or what lifestyle they wish to lead.

By working on your self-confidence, you can start putting boundaries in place with overbearing family members or maybe those who intimidate us or try to convince us to live life on their opinions.

By being confident in yourself, you trust your way of life and can stand up for yourself.

Creating healthy boundaries as an adult with family members is vital!

Finally, heightened self-confidence has a considerable effect on your spirituality.

High self-esteem and confidence are fundamental when manifesting your dreams - to do so. You have to work hard, align with your authentic self and say good riddance to fear.

When you want something to happen for you in life, you must believe you are worthy of it and that it can happen to you.

When your confidence increases, you naturally feel more deserving of the desires you genuinely want. Thus, it manifests much faster.

For those deeper into their spiritual journey, self-confidence works like magic on your own identity, relationship with source energy and finding your path.

Being sure of yourself and your birthright to abundance and happiness means it flows into your life much easier.

Written by VavaViolet's spiritual columnist, mind coach, and founder of Temple of Sunshine, Shalini Chatterjee.

PS: For more information on self-confidence and all things self-development and spirituality, check out Temple of Sunshine on YouTube

Or the Temple of Sunshine shop full of manifesting and mindset tools. 


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