Monday, 27 September 2021

Relationship rows to friendship feuds: How to apologise successfully


Relationships can be delightful, but the odd disagreement is inevitable with one another sometimes. So, if you owe someone an apology, here's how to show you genuinely mean it.

Conflicts can cause a lot of stress and upset. However, with conflict comes apology; an insincere apology can make everything worse, but knowing how to apologise effectively can make everything better.

How you apologise to your partner is extremely important, especially since everyone requires something different to move past an argument.

Everyone gets over things in different ways, and therefore, it is clear that not one formal apology would suit everyone.

The most successful apologies combine a perfect blend of empathy, remorse, and regret, as well as a promise to learn from your mistakes.

When you have hurt someone, be it intentional or not, it is always good to show this with an apology.

By apologising, not only are you expressing your regret, but you are acknowledging that you were wrong and that you have realised your mistake. It also offers the opportunity to freely talk about the boundaries within your relationship.

It opens up a line of communication with the other person.

An apology can bring relief to the other person and relieve you of your personal guilt over your actions and make you better understand why they are wrong.


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The saying, "actions speak louder than words," is very appropriate here.

An apology doesn't erase the hurt caused or make it ok, but it shows that you will work hard to ensure it doesn't happen again, and your action proves that.

Not apologising is damaging to any kind of relationship, be it personal or professional relationships. It can lead to various awful emotions such as anger and resentment that may only get worse as time goes on.

People do not apologise because they aren't really concerned about the other person, care too much about themselves, or feel an apology is no good anyway.

Knowing when you should apologise can sometimes be tricky, but it is just as important as how to.

A general rule is if you think something you did has hurt someone else, be that on purpose or accidentally, then it is best to clear the air.

Just remember, if you would be upset if someone did it to you, then it's clear that you need to apologise. However, it is also an opportunity to discuss it if you think the other person is being unreasonable.

Often when people are hurting, they either are unwilling or find it hard to take this step because admitting you wrong can sometimes be challenging.

There are a few ways that you can show that you are sorry:

When apologising, it is crucial to express regret for your actions.

Taking responsibility in the first place is essential, but it is vital to show them that you wish you hadn't said/done the hurtful thing in the first place.

There are several expressions of regret, but some may include;

"I wish I could take it back."

"I wish I had thought of your feelings too."

"I wish I would have thought before I spoke."

It is helpful for the other person to know that you feel bad about hurting them and wish you hadn't and add sincerity to your apology showing them that you care.

If there is anything that you can do to amend or change the situation for the better, then do it.

For example, if you broke something, you may simply ask, "Can I fix it or buy you a new one?".

However, suppose you broke something not physical like the trust of boundaries. In that case, you should approach it differently, for example, "I know I hurt you, is there anything I can do right now to make things better?"

This is offering to put actions behind your words, making them more sincere, and if you are not sure how to help by asking, it will make the other person feel more listened to.

This is probably one of the most critical parts of an apology.

In all relationships, healthy boundaries are essential.

When having a disagreement crossing the line is usually the cause of the conflict as it breaks trust.

It also shows that this is something you might do in the future, so it is an excellent way to discuss things you just won't tolerate.

For example, lying, cheating, shouting or disrespect towards one another. You can then work through these together to set the standard of what you expect from each other physically, professionally, emotionally or sexually.

Remember when apologising that you are taking responsibility for what you have done wrong and the part you played.

This doesn't always mean that you're admitting that the whole situation is your fault, but you own up to the part you played in it.

People are frequently scared to say sorry first as their pride makes them feel like the "loser".

It is healthy to apologise for the part you played. It helps to establish a feeling of responsibility in your actions, but remember not to accept the blame if certain things are not your fault.

In many cases, it doesn't matter how you apologise as long as you do it in the right way.

If you struggle face-to-face, write it down and express how you feel that way.

Remember, apologies are not always easy, but they are a vital part of all relationships in life.

By being responsible for your actions and being sincere, the steps you need to an honest apology are easy.



By Jessica Murray.


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