Ask James: 'Should I give my cheating ex another chance after eight months of silence?'

As celebrity dating coach, expert and author James Preece becomes our agony uncle, he reveals if it is ever a good idea to get back with an ex. 

VavaViolet Magazine could not be more honoured to announce the launch of our new monthly column that will see James (who, not to gloat, but is the most experienced dating coach in the UK!) tackle a host of your relationship dilemmas. 

From not being able to score a date to an array of issues in your love life, James is here to solve it all for you. 

All you have to do is email your dilemma to vavaviolett@outlook.com for some free advice from a professional. 

The dating coach is highly established in the industry with 16 years of experience working for over 50 dating companies.

Unlike many dating coaches, James caters for both men and women. Hence, everyone is welcome to send their dilemmas to VavaViolet Magazine - this was very important to us. Thus, there was no better fit than James. 

The author also has 14 best selling dating books for sale on Amazon.

He has countless success stories via his coaching, and his single events are the best in the country for meeting like-minded souls. 

For October's dilemma, James was approached by Sarah* (identities will always be kept anonymous). She asked if she should get back with an ex that cheated on her.

Here's Sarah's story:

Dear James, 

My ex-boyfriend has recently made contact again after eight months. 

We had a bad falling out as he cheated on me, but he has now promised me he has changed and only wants me. 

Should I give him another chance?

Sarah

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James advised: 

Hi Sarah,

Thank you so much for the question. I wanted to answer as it's something I get asked a lot. 

The truth is that once you've broken up for a while, it's doubtful you'll get the relationship back to where it was.

That'sThat's because you've already come to terms with the breakup and have gone through all the various stages such as grief, anger, frustration disappointment. 

Also, people rarely do change, and you'll always be wondering if you can really trust them. 

It'sIt's like going back to an old job – you will feel like you are settling and likely to be unhappy and bored.

If you decide that they are worth giving one more chance, then make sure you take it very slowly. 

There'sThere's no reason to rush back to how things were before too quickly. 

Instead, take care to get to know each other again right from the start. 

Go out on dates and talk through issues as soon as they come up. 

Make him prove to you that they are serious this time. 

By taking this time, you can rebuild the relationship and have a chance of a happier outcome.

Just promise me that if you ever get the slightest feeling, they are taking you for granted, that you'll cut him off once and for all. 

You need someone who makes you his priority and treats you with respect.

By Celebrity Dating Coach & Relationship Expert James Preece.