Thursday 25 November 2021

Ask James: 'How do I stop wasting time on the wrong guys?'

Celebrity dating coach, expert and author James Preece (and our very own agony uncle) are answering how we can stop wasting time on the wrong dates in his column this month. 

The dating coach is highly established in the industry with 16 years of experience working for over 50 dating companies.

Unlike many dating coaches, James caters for both men and women. Hence, everyone is welcome to send their dilemmas to VavaViolet Magazine - this was very important to us. Thus, there was no better fit than James. 

The author also has 14 best selling dating books for sale on Amazon.

He has countless success stories via his coaching, and his single events are the best in the country for meeting like-minded souls. 

For November's dilemma, James was approached by Seema* (identities will always be kept anonymous). She asked how to stop wasting time on the wrong guys.

Here's Seema's story:

Dear James, 

I'm starting to think I've got a problem as I keep making terrible dating choices and end up wasting time with the wrong guys!  

What can I do to change this?



Enjoying this article and intrigued to read more like it? Check out:

- NEW COLUMN! Ask James: Meet VavaViolet's phenomenal new dating agony uncle

- Is the right person wrong time really a thing? Sadly yes, here's how you avoid missing out again

James advised,

Hi Seema,

Thank you very much for the question. 

I'd suggest that you get clear about the type of guy you want to be within your life. 

Don't just think about how they look, but also about their personality. Do you want someone kind, family-minded and hard working for example? 

If something is important to you, then write it down.  

Then consider what your values, interests and life goals are. For example, do you like to keep active or perhaps have children in a few years? 

If they aren't aligned with the men you are dating; then it's doomed before it even begins.

We often don't believe anyone will want to date us, so we set low standards. So, I'd like you to have a good think about what you have to offer someone. 

It's only by understanding your strengths that you'll stop putting other people on pedestals. 

You deserve to be happy, and this means you aren't allowed to settle. 

Yes, a little compromise is necessary as nobody is perfect. However, you can't enter a relationship hoping or expecting that they will change. I can guarantee that they won't.

If you keep on letting the wrong men into your life, then there won't be any room for a good one. 

It's better to hold out and be single a little longer so you can find them.

I hope that helps!


By Celebrity Dating Coach & Relationship Expert James Preece.

From not being able to score a date to an array of issues in your love life, James is here to solve it all for you. 

All you have to do is email your dilemma to for some free advice from a professional. 


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