Saturday 25 May 2024

The Dilemma in Dating: Why Sophie Blackman and her Dates are Not Dependable | Editor's Letter

I, Sophie Blackman, have been a Sex and Relationships Journalist for ten years - and even I can not straighten out my dating life! It's even crazier than you could imagine - and I'm not even available for "love chasing" at the moment! Nonetheless, here's how I got Hot, Successful (and Rich) Men to pay attention to me, but will they all find this little lunatic too intense? Let's go with the flow on this one while learning from mistakes together... 

Some may know I am launching a podcast on the 1st of October, 2024, called Sex in the Shed. Over the last decade, I have adored typing to you and writing about all things 18+, love and life. Along the way, I have made friends and clients for life who have inspired me to get behind the mic. Admittedly, it has taken me a minute to face the fact that microphones are replacing pens and keyboards, but this Journalist must accept that people want information differently now. Thus, I introduce Sex in the Shed (@sexintheshed) to you! A podcast hosted by yours truly - and yes, it all happens in the shed at my family home!

Getting railed in the shed in my back garden is not how I imagined spending my late 20s. But after a breakup, here I am. A bedroom, bathroom or sofa would be preferable, but the UK's insane rental and cost of living crisis has forced me - and I suspect you - into this position. There are perks to moving back home, but stifling an orgasm in case Mum hears is not one of them. But stifle those feelings no more. @sexintheshed is a bubbly, welcoming space where we will yap about the highs and lows of our sex lives.

There's no way my family will want to hear our explicit conversations, so we will be fucking off to the shed - now, I know October is ages away, but I had to make sure I had a lot to yap about, and oh boy, do I!

As teasing is one of the funniest aspects of dating/falling in love, I shall give you a teaser of what to expect from this little lunatic regarding love. Here's how my dating life looks and how I caught their wondering gaze (all through Instagram DMs or history, I write about sex; it does not take much more than that to reel them in, trust me)! If you want to get laid, write about getting laid! 

Now, before we digress into these dilemmas, I know I need not state I am not a "gold digger," my character reflects that I would prefer to achieve success and "wealth" myself (this Goblin will never rudely reject a gift; however). Nonetheless, I returned to work a fortnight ago as the Director of my marketing firm, VavaViolet Public Relations, after a year off following a mental breakdown and a bad breakup, and suddenly CEOs want to fuck me.

I am not against sleeping with the Boss if you want to, but it has never been for me. It takes away the "chase" of my career I therapeutically thrill over. Before my Internet break and off-the-grid year, I dated the odd "wealthy" guy. Hearing feedback from them it was my country/London accent that drew them in, and my "unirrestible eyes", which I agree are hard to avoid. My wit and mind also played a part; I know it did. 

The other shock I had in the DMs was up-and-coming footballers! It was the worst game off the pitch I have ever experienced. Up your chat! Except if you're a Hammer; I don't care if you're dead dull, I'll cheerlead you till death!

Then there is the Hot Accountant, whom I never met because he is on the other side of Europe. He walked back into my life today as past lovers, exes, and flings do. We are good friends, and he is also a Hot Dad, so I look forward to catching up with him about what this entails.

The next is my Lively and Lovely ex-boyfriends, whom I would dub "friends for lifey" for the majority. They are all fine gentlemen, doing brilliant bits with bold brains. I dated them for a reason, but once was enough. We are all better besties, and we know it!

And lastly, there are the (alleged) criminals... I have no idea why they are attracted to this sweet little angel, but please stay away; my Father is psychotic and wants me to meet a respectful and real reason to "settle down". I will write about these Bad Boys later; intensely interesting interactions, for sure.

Oh, and I can not miss the Hot Lad I had a Crush on in school for an hour after staring at his MSN picture and never clicking add. I think he wants to get down dirty with red wine and vinyls, but I have a BIG dilemma...

None of these options are dependable or enough to make me even consider a commitment. 

CEOs, footballers, exes, criminals, and Hot Finance Men are attractive; sure, they bring a lot to the table from the get-go, but the thing I look for the most before dating someone is a lengthy and robust relationship: a friendship. Can we be friends first? Can we laugh/look past each other's flaws? Can we make the soul of the relationship work? Can we inspire each other to work harder and do better?

It is intense to ask for so much, but it should be normalised. Crushes can turn into potential life partners, and that's life-changing, so we must play it cautious and have a guard up, but that is not needed so much if you have years of memories and friendship together. Whether in person or worlds apart, typing back and forth to one another, like my Crush and I have been doing since 2021 as friends until confessing mutual interest recently. 

Being friends first makes the whole process of seeing if you're suited more relaxing and rewarding. 

Mystery Man will nod in approval of this - what I call him (and yes, I know his name; you have no need). 

He charmingly chatted to me in the DMs for years after coming across my Coregasm piece that went viral due to my experiencing orgasms in the gym. After my last breakup, in February last year, we became comfortably close friends; he does not know this, and he will now, but he is one of the main reasons I felt inspired to return so fiercely two weeks ago. 

He once told me he could see me buying my own Lamborghini (we share an interest in sexy cars and sexting erotic erratic emotions). That sentence alone, from him, as we are in the same industry, but he is further up the old career ladder than me, has inspired me ever since.

The dilemma? We live a world apart and can only use words to touch when we can. Both are Busy Bees, and thus, go with the flow we must!

I hope that is enough of a mystery while being intensely interesting to excite you for Sex in the Shed - launching 01/10/24. 

See you in the Shed,

VavaViolet Magazine's Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman

PS: The Crush got an exclusive first look over this piece; I can confirm that he agreed with every word, as we often do. 


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